we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize