Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So much Jack, so little girl.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
