Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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