The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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