false alarm. still invincible.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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