new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Alive.
So much puke
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
