Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
