..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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