can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
