You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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