somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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