do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
