im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
