Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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