Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
