This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
