HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
