Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
