Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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