Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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