Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
