so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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