So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
