I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
