perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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