belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I touched a dick in church today
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
