didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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