I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it because I queefed?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
