She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
