He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
