His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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