Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
