i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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