Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
