I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
