If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
