he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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