just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I supernannyed him into submission
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
