Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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