what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
