normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
