I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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