They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
