Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
