just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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