Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
