idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dont even know how to be here
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
