my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
