He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
