So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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