I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
